Setting your expectations higher and higher…
It’s so easy to just keep setting your expectations higher and higher – isn’t it?
I see this happen over and over again, with my student and clients alike.
In our society, we commonly make unreasonable demands on ourselves, rather than acknowledging that learning new things take time. Patience is something most of us need to work on, and it is with patience and love for yourself that you can learn to have reasonable expectations of yourself.
I see students being too hard on themselves regularly, especially in the beginning of a course. Many arrive with high levels of pressure to perform (Not to worry, I’m not referring to anyone in particular! This is a common phenomenon.)
”I’ll probably never learn”
A common belief is that all the others will do great, but: ”I’ll probably never learn”. Instead, try thinking: “This is all new to me, how exciting to learn something new!” (and have some faith in the teacher 😀 )
As the course progresses and everybody (Yes, everybody!) learns how to do it, many students start comparing themselves to other participants: “Wow! I really do know this, but I’d like to know how to do it the same way as XX or XX.”
Because the student is unable to recognize the value in his/her own work
That is, the student isn’t satisfied with his/her own accomplishments, and keeps raising the bar. Most of the time this is because the student is unable to recognize the value in his/her own work, and thereby automatically comes to the conclusion that others must be performing better.
For example: When attending a course in channeling, the students initially doubt whether they’ll ever be able to contact their guide. Then, when they do connect (Yes, everybody succeeds!), some are disappointed in themselves because they were expecting something else, they believe others experience it in a different way. Or they compare themselves with students who perhaps have been attending many different courses over several years.
The same thing over and over…
The same thing happens in any type of course, whether it be healing, animal communication, mediation, higher consciousness, or stress management.
I believe this behavior to be true in many areas of their lives, not just when they are learning something new. I think they practice this way of thinking at home in day to day living, always striving to do better. I think this also applies in their work, where they keep pushing themselves to perform more and better.
The price for this type of behavior is often high. It can lead to many different symptoms on a physical, as well as on a mental, level. When never fully satisfied, it’s difficult to relax, and physical and emotional tension is built up in the body. This can lead to stress, anxiety and sleeping difficulties, among other things, which in turn can result in a number of physical ailments, including headaches, muscle and joint pain, and stomach problems.
But why is this? Why is it so difficult for some people to allow themselves the feeling of self contentment?
I think this has to do with a lack of love for yourself. A lack of love, and a lack of patience and trust.
Are you one of those who never feel good about yourself? Are you one of those who always set unreasonably high expectations for yourself? Would you like to do something about it?
This is a behavioral pattern that actually can be broken quite easily, there are simple steps to follow…
- Realize that you’re setting unreasonably high expectations for yourself.
- Decide that you want to change this.
- Work with your affirmation, every day: ”I love myself! I deserve to feel great!”
- Get a mental ”hand brake”, and use it every time you realize you’re feeling dissatisfied with yourself.
- Distance yourself and look at the reason behind your behavior: “Is it reasonable that I demand from myself that…”
- Use your sense of humor! Don’t take yourself or your actions too seriously, be kind to yourself and remember that we are all here to learn.
- Repeat your affirmation until you feel you’ve truly done your best, and that this is more than enough!